why do narcissists blame you for everythingsales compensation surveys

After all, its much easier to throw your problems onto someone else rather than reflect inwards. First of all he said this is why I didnt want u going out with others trying to blame the crash coz he wasnt there He didnt cuddle me that night and when I asked he said I pushed him away (I did not a lay awake) then he said I could of cuddled him (I was in pain and couldnt move a lot) then he said he didnt want to hurt me. There is no one definitive answer to this question. I tried to tell him Im sorry that I had gotten drunk and said some mean stuff to him. And then he verbally attacked the woman he was cheating on me with for nearly 2 months, calling her crazy! And with her being a woman cops automatically think she is the victim. As hard as it might be, take a few deep breaths and count to 10 before you respond. He checks where I am every hour, wants me to fill in bank forms, paperwork etc Because he cant or cant be bothered. In my case, over our 13 years together I became very good friends with people that have known and cared about him for 30+ years. I will pray for you and your situation as I know what you have been through. I was shocked, hurt and felt totally betrayed. Ive been married to my narcissist for 26 yrs. If youre in this familiar pattern, its normal to feel compassionate towards the blamer because you: Its important to remember that their truth isnt inherent to the actual truth. Go with your gut. Life will go on. BYE BYE Mr N, WOW, all I can say is wow (stunned). I didnt feed the kids the right kind of dinner. He also had a traveling job so I didnt see all that much of him for a lot of years. You have JUST as much right to speak your mind. He really poured it on thick, I thought it was sweet and I was counting down the days on my calendar to when he would be officially divorced and a free man. Im not a punching bag. Sally, nothing I have done really works and I tried alot of different tactics, try to remember who you are inside, sounds to me like you need some support, it was the one thing I didnt have when I was away from my child that I really needed. When I pleaded with him to stop he told me to stop making everything about myself and let him talk. And even though my life isnt perfect (continuing headaches and some minor cognitive issues even after 8 months since the scaffolding incident), its a thousand times better just because Im not around my father anymore. I actually spend my time sat in my bedroom alone so that I dont have to be in the same room as my husband, he shouts go on get in your pit. It literally breaks you, turns you inside out and into a totally different person. If anyone has any ideas or even wants to share contact info for support I would greatly appreciate it! Appearances are EVERYTHING to a narcissist. This is Deb I put in wrong email. It got so bad for me that I literally craved his approval and affection (which I never, ever got). My 2 adult children blame me for everything that happens in their life. If you refuse to take responsibility for their accusations, they cant do much with their blame. My Narcissist husband (trying to figure out if he is or not) seems to act undercover with the manipulation. Dear God Im shaking so bad right now! My husband blames me for everything that happens and mostly stupid things. And Im disgusted at how much Ive put myself through, a string woman in control of her life Always, and became the scapegoat if a sick minded man. I am 46 and met my narcissistic Jekyll and Hyde 6 years ago. I am 37 and have never been married. A narcissist relationship is one that you have with a person. He turned this into me dodging the landlord and being irresponsible, and that I may have to move out. Traditional viewpoints, on the other hand, claim that they must. She did not deny slandering me to wider family and friends. She is feeling better now, without the need for medications, and hasnt cut in five months. This is so scary Im living it! Your email address will not be published. We start arguing about one thing (my fault/his fault/both our fault or no ones fault) and we end up with him saying its all me, its my bullshit. His story, to the rest of the world is that I punched him in the face and then called the cops. That is what matters now. The only solution is get away from these people. Or eat it with an air of disdain.. As if great try, but not so good:( I think their joy is in how much confusion, misery, sadness and frustration they see they can cause.. Its already fixed however once you manage to establish that theres a problem. This is what Im finding the hardest. Thanks to everyone that shared.. My husband blames me for his failed business attempt. when all i am trying to do is make him happy. For 40 years I wondered what it was I did wrongI dont name call or give them any excuse to attack me knowing that if I did its like providing them with bullets.. He belittles me I front of our son and this is what upsets me most. My sisters are especially cruel toward me, as if I need to suck someones butthole for the sake of the family and I do not look the other way, I speak up. Thats what they love. I finally stopped talking to him and took my brothers advice to treat the ex like a dysfunctional business partner as the only time I have to deal with him is with money for kids. And the first sign a person wont feel sorry they hurt you.. OR worse doubles down on it if you say anything.. Slam the door to your heart to them.. They will often project their own negative qualities onto others in order to make themselves feel better. I have been blamed for the drinking, walking out on me and the kids, the cheating, the abuse, losing his job. I told her hes hated me since puberty for not following in his career footsteps and that shed been blind to that (he likes to project that he has the perfect family). He actually insisted we buy his ex-wife a gift, on our honeymoon!!!! They dont make sense and trying to make sense of it makes a normal person crazy! Trying to find a new job but minimum wage wont get me out of this house. This is a big bathroom with a double sink. All of my mail is accidentally opened, so no clue how to ever get out of here). After leaving my life got a little better besides the accusations of sleeping with men infront of the kids and all the nasty inappropriate things you can imagine. Why do they concentrate on stupid things and do nothing about very major problems. I was yelled at for 15 minutes about how hateful I am to my brother and There is exactly enough for EVERYONE here! Um, no. It seemed important. As I sit here now (with him ignoring me) I want him to turn to me and speak. I was the woman of his dreams, his soul mate.The alarm bells came very shortly after but I wasnt going to let anything get in the way of my romantic illusion. My mate and I went to counseling a lot of years ago. Narcissists are notorious for expressing their feelings in a variety of ways, including blaming others. You should have picked up the dry cleaning. What is this?? Walking out of the hospital before my surgery and having our kids. M Husband is a Narc- I left last year after 102 years of abuse and 16 years of marriage. For example, if you are dealing with a distant colleague, their frustrating behavior may not matter as much. They have an uncanny and unattractive way of taking their own dismal thoughts and making you responsible for them. Im exhausted from being screamed at and threatened. The last straw was when he started calling me a b*tch and told me that I was not allowed to go to Las Vegas with my 40 yr old daughter as a birthday present to me. Tonight he tried talking about our problems. He has threatened to leave me with nothing in the way of money, but we live in a common law state. they r tortured souls & THEY KNOW IT!!! These therapists are treating us as a pro bono case. I got dressed, pushing myself and went to the car. My older sisters always blame me for everything their laptop breaking when i did not use it but they were away on vacation using the shampoo when i did not touch it they do not listen to what i have to say on my part at all and if no one did it they would put the blame on me . This strategy is beneficial if you suspect they may be unaware of their behavior. Even when the narcissist has agreed to something, they can still be victims of their own decisions and take out their anger on the very people they made the agreement with. I was his 3rd wife and we only lasted a little over 2 yrs. I also struggle with my own issues personal as to why I want to still be with this person. So now I am 56, crushed emotionally, dont feel good about myself for letting this happen to me, yet I set her up in this business and she is doing fine. Are there any legitimate reasons why people would blame others for something? Try to make a plan how you can achieve that and again, talking to friends and professionals will help you to give clear thoughts and insights. WHOA!! Im sorry to go on. There is also the very serious issue of mind control, manipulative and underhanded mind control. He quit his last job because his boss was treating him unfairly. I dont get it. He has absolutely no problem giving money to his family. They may blame others for starting it, deserving it, or for being just as bad.. Narcissists find it comforting to be understood and empathy is extremely important. When I first left my ex (after 13 years of pure hell), I went low-contact meaning I did not contact him other than financial issues but did not block him from contacting me about ANYTHING. I have no kids of my own, but I raised 3 children for years. She doesnt see it yet. Please, those of you who are wondering how to escaperemember this great quote: A N is someone who wants you to give up everything to be their nothing.. We live 130 miles apart and he has been making demands on me to move near him where I would be alone some nights and will be away from my family and friends and my job. Set limits.. Show them you are NOT weak and can survive just fine without them.. Now he made an appointment for me to go to Dr. For hormone therapySo CE I get hot flashes and I am the reason for all the fighting. Just anger and constant fights. They have mastered it so well, they can convince anyone their words and actions came from a good place, when in fact they were the ones who planned the whole mess. I immediately called him and told him it was over. We met at my attorney with the papers and then to the bank to start his loan to by my home. The parent/child role has been reversed in his situation. One day I was the best girlfriend ever and had just met his parents, and then three days later, boom, no contact. You need to surround yourself with quality people those people who enrich your life, understand your ups and downs and when you are together the world is a better place..if you dont have those people yet in your life..enjoy your own company and get a petmany people prefer animals to humansthey dont judge just love. Tell me how much he still loves me. He had me genuinely believing all alternatives were even worse. The stress/anger/rage builds up and its gone as fast as it got there.. Just ride the wave.. and always remind yourself.. Please pray for me!! Even though I have proof he denies everything and accuses me of doing the same. The N in my life was my brother. Thank you for this post. Ive reached out to several local womens shelters. Just read your post about mocking crying noises imitating crying wife from her/your deep hurt..my ex did the very same thing to me! It really is an amazing thing to wake up one day and realize the old you, the you that you used to be, is coming back to life! Wrong. As a caring individual, you consider what is being said and wonder if your actions caused the issues. Affirmative action bans helped White, Asian students and hurt I married this sweet , loving man two years agoHe is giving and people love himHe wakes up happy and love to help people. Etc. When we are conflicting Im definite that he gets his attention from these other women.

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